Saturday, October 8, 2011

I Swear We're Not Pervs

so today i took harper to the grocery store (which, by the way, is like heaven to me).  no big deal.  just another ordinary shopping trip.  

but harper hates to sit in seats: high chairs, booster seats, car seats, dining room table seats, get the picture.  but she absolutely HATES shopping carts.  she prefers to push them, which i sometimes let her do depending on how quickly we need to get out of the store.  today was a day i wanted to get my shopping done and go home.  and harper wanted to get out of the cart so bad.  she kept standing up which led to me telling her repeatedly to sit down or else she was going to fall out of the cart and crack her skull open (cause 18-month olds have reasoning skills, correct?)  anyway, she's trying and to get her legs out of the holes at the front of the cart but she doesn't have great dexterity yet (holy moly this kid's been walking for awhile now and STILL looks like the Frankenstein monster).  let me pause a moment to say that harper, who has been talking up a storm, isn't quite able to pronounce all syllables the way they're supposed to be said - i.e. sock is "gock" and stuck is "guck."  it's cool because i know what she's talking about usually.  however, at this moment - the same moment a mother with three younger children decideds to saunter by - the letter "G" has completely left harper's vocabulary.  so as she's trying to free her leg she looks up desperately at me and says, "COCK!  COCK!"  like, for real kid???  FOR REAL???  and i'm all, "yes, honey!  i know you're STUCK!  let momma help you!" and all the while (instictively maybe?? i don't know why!) i put my hand over her mouth and quickly retrieve her from the cart.  all the while this mom is looking at me like "OMG lady!  you're kid just said COCK out loud in public!  that's the most embarassing thing ever!" and she hurried down the aisle.  now, honestly, i was a teensy bit embarassed (can you tell?) but i was also quite amused.  i mean, come on, it is pretty darn funny.  and it's even more hilarious now as i think back on the scene and that woman's face.

so i finished up the shopping and we went to check out.  and harper decided it was a fabulous time to poo and shout "POOPY BUTT!" over and over as we exited the store.

seriously?!?  but totally my kid.

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