Big Girl.

I got to hold a 6-week-old baby the other night.  Holding her both satisfied my urge to have a baby and equally intensified how much I want another one.  But that's not why I'm writing now.  After the baby and her family left, it hit me full on just how big Harper is.  

Harper is non-stop, on the go all the time.  She can feed herself with spoons and forks and even last week learned how to open the refrigerator and brought me the half-gallon of chocolate milk.  She can now go into the bathroom, turn on the light, go potty, flush, wash her hands, and turn off the light when she's done (though she usually forgets to turn off the water).  She helps feed the dogs and water the garden and plants.  She can climb into her swing and buckle herself in.  She can put her sandals on herself and usually on the right feet.  Her make-believe play has gone to another level.  She's talking to her animals and babies and cars as if they were real people.  She's creating pretend situations out of real life experiences.  Her vocabulary is growing each and every day.  She learns songs so quickly and is remembering her favorite book and movie characters.  We went to the movies over the weekend to see Brave and she sat through the whole thing.  Oh and she's using the potty at least once a day and has started to tell  me when she needs to go.  She especially likes to potty while we are out in public.  She loves to swim and can even do so alone with her floaties.  She likes to help weed, wash dishes, do laundry, vacuum and mop, and make the beds.  She is always laughing or singing or talking.  She loves to jump and gallop and climb.  She loves to read stories and go for walks and eat popcorn.  She loves to ask questions and has just started to ask why? about everything.

She is in constant motion and is forever learning.  I know why my days are so full and why some days nothing gets done.  But it is all so beautiful and I am so lucky that I get to experience this all with her each and every day.  And as much as I would love to sit around staring at a new baby all day, I think I'll just chase around my crazy two-year old and love her a little bit more until then.

Happy Birthday, My Little Love

Happy 2nd birthday to the little love in my life.  I hope your day is filled with laughter, excitement, good food, and a whole lot of love.  You make my life so much better each and every day.  I love you always and forever, with all of my heart.

23 Months

Harper - 
   You're just a few short weeks away from turning two years-old.  I'm incredibly excited.  You are expanding and growing and learning every moment of everyday.  You are, without even knowing, teaching me along the way.  There are many days where we struggle together, but each time we come out better than we were before.  You astound me with how much you're absorbing: ABCs, the lyrics to songs, realistic make-believe play (with dolls, trains, household chores, etc).  You're speaking in small-ish sentences and there are always a few words that just about anyone can decipher.  Of course, most of the time they just look at me for translation.
    You're very into modes of transportation (which our trip to California helped to bring to life!)  Trains are by far your favorite, but you also love school buses (you call all buses and many other things "boo buses," which is really adorable), planes (you especially love to see the planes from the small airport nearby fly "up in da skies" as you say), and big trucks.
   You're starting to learn your colors.  The thing is, when we ask you what the color of something is, you always answer "blue."  However, you will point at things and say the correct color.  I know this in not a fluke because it happens quite often.  This is similar to when you first started to learn what sounds animals make and you always answered "moo."
   You're also starting to learn how to dress yourself (though not always successfully) and you're learning right from left.
   I know I say this every time, but this is such a fun age!  Even on the difficult days there's always some sort of fun to be had or love to be shared.  I'm so thankful that I've been lucky enough to be part of your life everyday for the past 23 months.


I love more forever and always, with all of my heart,
Momma

Pre-Terrible Twos

Harper is still far off from the "Terrible Twos" phase that everyone claims toddlers go through.  However, she's been giving us all a taste of what that's going to be like for the past few weeks.  I know she's got it rough.  She's able to comprehend what's being said to her far better than she can communicate which often leads to frustration and anger.  Sometimes this frustrated anger is expressed through tears or grunts of exasperation, but there are other times when she gets overly emotional and hits someone (or something, including the poor dogs).  For the most part, we redirect her.  We tell her it's wrong to hit and try to distract her with something else.  But sometimes she likes to get her point across and lashes out again.  So we've been trying Time Out.  At first it was very effective.  One minute sitting in an area that is completely removed from distractions was enough to get the point across that we aren't going to tolerate hitting.  After the minute is up, we go to her tell her the offense that is unacceptable and ask her if she would like to say she's sorry.  98% of the time this works.  Lately, though, "no" has become her favorite word (wait, haven't I been saying this for the past few months???).  For example, after her minute was up in Time Out the other day the situation went like this:

Me: Harper, you know Momma doesn't like it when you hit.  Can you tell Momma you're sorry?

Harper: No.

Me: You aren't sorry for hitting Momma?

Harper:(shyly) Nooo.

Me: Hmm, okay.  Well, do you want to stay in Time Out until you're sorry?

Harper:  (very excitedly) YES!

So I left her sitting in Time Out and went back to whatever it was I was doing before.  She was devastated so I didn't let her sit there much longer before going back and repeating what I had asked her before.  This time she jumped up and put her arms around my neck and laid her head on my shoulder.  We're trying to get her to see that we don't hit her when we're upset or angry and when we do do something that hurts someone else or we do something that they don't like, we apologize and make them feel better.  It seems to be working somewhat.  She understands that being sorry means giving a hug or a kiss.  Time Out isn't enough to get her to stop hitting or throwing things, etc. but she does think twice about doing the action (either while doing it or right after you can see it in her face or she immediately hugs you).  Sometimes I feel that Time Out is ineffective and is just making her feel bad about herself.  Sometimes I feel that it is just teaching her the wrong thing - do something bad to someone/something, hug them/make it right, everything's okay but really nothing's changed - and we're not getting the right point across to her.  But I'm at a loss for what to do differently.  I do get on her level and talk with her, but I know that she's only 17 months old and cannot comprehend everything I say.  We really try to not spank as I feel hitting equals more hitting (at least that's how it is with Harper).  I don't like yelling because it scares her and sends the opposite message.  So until I can figure out another way of handling these types of situations, we're sicking with Time Out.  I know things will getting better as she learns how to express herself more through words.  I also know none of us is perfect and there will always be outbursts.  My hope is that we're teaching her the right way and that there will be more outbursts of love and happiness rather than anger.  This parenting thing is not without it's challenges.  But when those little arms go around my neck I feel like melting into a sappy puddle right on the floor.

Nursing No More

Today was the first day Harper has ever gone without nursing.  For the past few months she's gone from 3-4 times a day, to just morning and night, and recently down to either morning or night.  I knew the inevitable was coming, but I didn't expect the progression to happen this quickly.  She's just over 15 months and I expected us to go until at least a year and a half.  In a way this is a good thing.  Wade and I are going on our first out of town trip.  We'll be gone for 3 days.  The longest we've ever left her was around 7 or 8 hours and that was when she was around 4 months old.  I didn't know how she was going to handle 3 days without nursing, but it looks like that won't be a problem.  That's good for all of us, I think.  I must admit, though, that a part of me is mourning the loss of this closeness that we've shared for so long.  It means that my little tiny baby is no more.  It's forcing me to accept the fact that she's growing and so is the dynamic of our relationship.  She's becoming more independent each day.  It's absolutely amazing to watch her grow and develop and while I am outwardly cheering her on, the inside of me is selfishly clinging to the little baby she once was.  Oh the anguish we parents must endure so our children can grow, huh?  And we've only just begun!  I'm proud that we were able to last this long.  We surpassed my goal of a year and so I can't complain.  Now, let's see how I handle being away from my sweet little girl for 3 days!  Eek.

Harper at 14 Months

I know it's not necessary to say that I've always loved (and always will love) Harper.  The moment I got two pink lines, I loved the little ball of cells that she was.  But this love I have for her is ever changing, ever growing.  Each day I find something new to love about her.  Each day I see something that wasn't there before and my heart grows a little bit more.  I've loved every stage of her life so far: the newborn, the colic, the hold-me-all-the-time, the crawler, and the walk-between-everything stage.  But out of all the stages she's been through, the one she's in now is my favorite.  She is so much fun.  She's constantly learning, mimicking, repeating, discovering, laughing, and loving.  She's into imaginative play (giving stuffed animals or babies her binkie, sippy cup, or food and rocking them to sleep.  Love.)  She's trying to put on and take off her clothes.  She knows pretty much everything we're saying to her (like trying to take off her clothes when MiMi asked her if she wanted to take a bath).  She still loves music and dances all the time (we call it "dancey, dancey feet!")  She rubs our heads and says "kay-zee!" for "Crazy, crazy hair!"  She tries to put on shoes (which she calls "shoo-zies").  She can mimic animal sounds.  She can point to her eyes, ears, mouth, nose, eyes, hands, toes, and head.  She says "mah-mah" (more more) for food and "dee!" for drink.  She loves outside and swimming and playing with dogs.  She sits on Charlie (our English bulldog) and says "go go go" like she's on a horse.  She covers her mouth when she burps, trying to say "excuse me," and says thank you in her own sort of way.  She likes to be scared and loves hide and seek or peekaboo.  

It's amazing to watch her develop.  She's an amazingly smart little girl (gah! no longer a baby!)  I (try to) say that not with a mother's bias or without trying to brag, honestly.  I'm so proud of her and so deeply in love with her.  I still get all emotional at least once a week over how much I just completely love her.  I look at her and can't believe that I have such a beautiful daughter.  Yes, I've always loved her, but oh how much fun we're having now!

These Days

Spring and summer are by far my favorite seasons.  Being outdoors in the sunshine doing yard work or grilling or reading/knitting is what I look forward to everyday.  This year is especially wonderful.  Harper is a walking, talking, full-fledged toddler.  She swings and slides and climbs.  She walks all over the yard pointing at things.  BABA! (ball)  DUH DUH! (dog dog)  SEE! (swing)  I can remember last year walking her around the yard while she was colic-y and thinking how wonderful it would be when she could play and have fun.  I never dreamed it would be this much fun.  Harper is into pretend play.  We have a little play kitchen on the back deck and she plays in the water, puts the dishes away, feeds her baby.  I've been obsessively knitting lately so it's good that she hit this stage.  I sit nearby watching her make-believe.  Every few minutes she toddles over to me saying MAMA! and hugs my legs and then resumes playing. Once I break myself away from my hobby, I join in her fun.

She's saying everything.  She watches our mouths when we form words and then tries to sound them out loud herself.  I don't know if I can list all of the words she's saying, but I'll try:
BABA (ball)
BA (baaa for a sheep, of course)
BOOF (moo for a cow)
MAHMAH (more more usually for food)
DISH (drink and milk and binkie)
MAMA 
DADA
MIMI (for gramie)
DAHDAH (dog dog)
BEBE (baby)
DUN (down)
UP
HI
BUH BYE
DUG (duck)
ZEE (crazy)
CUH (book)
SHA (shoe)
POO (poop)
PEE
UCK (yuck)
NO
ESS (yes)
CHEESE

She has recently been telling me when she has to go poop so we are gradually working our way up to potty training.  She says more when she wants food and drink when she's thirsty.  Whenever I get my bag she says "buh bye!" like we're going somewhere.  She blows kisses and says goodbye when we leave somewhere.  And she's still all about being outside.  In fact, I think she's happiest when she's outside.  Life is even better for her now that she can walk.  She still freaks out if I walk away, but now she follows after me.  I'm hoping that the crying will subside soon and this stage will be over.  It's unfortunate that I can't reason with her and tell her I'm just walking to the fridge, not out of her life forever.

I am absolutely loving this age.  Even though I am starting to realize my tiny baby is disappearing (where did those chubby legs go?!), I'm embracing every bit of this toddler before me.  She's super independent (trying to use spoons and forks to feed herself!  trying to put on clothes!  blowing her own nose!) and also very stubborn.  It's not always smiles and sunshine, but oh so worth it.  She definitely likes to push boundaries so I'm learning new ways to discipline gently.  I can't say it always works (anyone else lose patience when they have a cold? or poison ivy that makes their skin feel like it's on fire? or when they're having a bad day?), but I'm learning a lot myself.  I can't be perfect all the time.  But that's okay.  We're having so much fun together.  

P.S. My laptop decided to crap out on me the day that Harper took off walking (last Wednesday) so until I get it fixed, there may not be any picture or video uploads, I'm very sorry to say.  I took a bazillion pictures last week and have nothing to show for it!  Sorry!

Time Out For Momma

Parenting is not easy.  No one ever told me it would be, nor did I expect as much.  I have this ideal in my mind of how I should behave as a momma and what that momma is like.  Some days I live up to this role.  Many days I feel like I have let myself and Harper down.

Yesterday was one of those days.


Perhaps it was because of the heat.  It was about 90 degrees outside and our air conditioning isn't working properly, making our home a sweltering 84 degrees inside.
Perhaps it was because Harper was having an honest-to-goodness bad day.  If it happens to me, surely it happens to 13 month-olds, right?
Perhaps it was because I have a lot on my mind.  But then again, when don't I?
There are a million reasons I could give, yet I still feel guilty.


Yesterday I was a bad mom.

I lost my temper with Harper about every three minutes.  I raised my voice more than I care to admit.  I made her cry with my impatience and loud voice too many times.  I felt overwhelmed.  I found myself wishing someone else were there with me so I wouldn't have to hear her whiney when I walked two feel away from her.  Or when she hit me.  Or when she peed on the floor.  Or when she wouldn't nap.  Or when I wanted to go to the bathroom myself and had to bring her with me so she wouldn't cry.
I found myself wishing I could get away for just a few minuets ALONE.  I needed to breathe.  Collect myself.  Relax.  But even though I knew I needed a Time Out myself, I felt guilty.  I shouldn't wish to be away from my daughter.  I should want to spend every moment I can with her so I don't miss anything.

Right?


Not yesterday, I'm sorry to say.  After a full day of Harper being incessantly and overly whiney, acting out in music class, refusing to listen whenever I said "No," etc, etc. left me broken.  I needed that Time Out.
So here I sit, writing during my self-invoked Time Out.  The image of my ideal momma crept into my mind throughout today, just like she does on all my bad parenting days.  usually I am able to be reasonable and ration and pull myself together.  Yesterday was different.  Yesterday I was fed up and in a foul mood.  Yesterday will be my learning day - a day I don't want to repeat.  The momma I was yesterday is my un-ideal momma to say the least.  I know these types of days will happen in the future; that's a given.  But I hope what I've learned will be recalled later.  Unlike yesterday when I couldn't reel myself in and change what I didn't like/see/hear, I hope I can summon the strength to do so later on.  I owe that to myself and to Harper.  I know I certainly didn't like myself yesterday so I can't expect her to like me when I'm like that either, no matter how frustrated I am with her.  I am ashamed of myself and angry.  No I didn't hit her or verbally attack her, but I was not nice or fun.  Granted, it was not all bad, but the good moments were few and far between.
Now that I have given myself this Time Out to reflect on my behavior and attitude, I know I can do better - I WILL do better.  I love Harper too much not to try harder and show her what a good momma is like everyday.
Because, of course, every day is another chance to do better.

To Harper

My Little Love,
   On Sunday I will  get to celebrate my second Mother's Day with you.  This time last year you were just a tiny colic-ridden wee one, but oh what a wonderful day it was.  An extraordinary year has passed and I'm writing now to say "Thank you, my darling."

   Thank you for making me a mother.  This is the most precious and the most fulfilling role I have ever, in my 26 years on this earth, had bestowed upon me.  Obviously, my other roles in life as daughter-sister-niece and wife have all been ones that I have taken great pride in.  Yet they were ones that I was either born into or signed a piece of paper to get.  Not that that diminishes their value to me.  

But cradling you in my womb for nine months and then giving birth to you was such an active thing that I feel I earned the title of "Momma."   But more than that, even, is how much of a woman I have become in this last year.  

I know I have told you before that I feel stronger now that I'm a mother.  I can't help but reiterate that fact.  I have never felt so completely woman until I had you.  I feel as though I could take on anything; as though no challenge were too big.  If you needed the moon for whatever reason, I'm pretty darn sure I could get it for you.  That's how strong I feel.  

I have grown so much in this last year.  When I look back even six months ago I know I'm a different person now.  But my oh my, the woman I was last year or even the year before is most definitely not the woman I am now.  This woman is confident.  This woman will take on things she never thought possible and believe in herself enough to know she can do it.  This woman has self-confidence and self-worth that she never thought possible.  Most of all, this woman is lucky enough to have a love she never thought possible.  Some days it's a wonder that I don't split down the middle from all the love and happiness I hold within me.

So to you, my little love, thank you.  Without you I would probably never know what it is to be truly happy.  I would probably never know what it is like to be so at peace with myself.  Without you, well, I wouldn't be a mother.

 To all the lovely, wonderful women who read this blog, I wish you all a fabulous Mother's Day!

Sleep These Days

She's no longer night weaned.  In fact, her nursing at night has increased dramatically.  She's been teething and on the verge of walking.  She's saying all kinds of words and understanding things we didn't know a one year-old could.  Perhaps it's these things that keep her up at night.  I know when my mind is full of things it's difficult for me to sleep.  Thankfully, I don't need a boob every hour to help me go back to sleep.
For almost the past three weeks it's been not-so-good.  She's eating like a newborn again.  And some days it's round the clock.  Honestly, there were some days where I dreaded hearing her ask for milk.  "Tisk, tisk" is what she says and I could feel my boobs wince in pain.  Yes, I am being serious.  They hurt so very, very much.  But there was no way of consoling her at night other than nursing.
Let me tell you, it's affected our sleeping tremendously.  I don't think either of us has had any deep sleep for a long time.  Our nights have been something like: sleep for an hour, wake up crying/wake up to her crying, find binkie/refuse binkie, "tisk, tisk, tisk!", nurse, repeat cycle.  And Harper has been going to bed between 9 and 10, some nights as early as 830.  I've been placing her in her room in her crib so that most of the noise of the house is blocked.  One night she slept for 5 straight hours in there.
That was a fluke.
She averages 30 minutes to 2 hours in there.  Enough time for me to relax, or clean up something, do some laundry, talk to Wade, and get ready for bed.  If she wakes, I try not to nurse her unless she's upset and won't resume sleeping any other way.
After about a week of her constant night waking/night nursing I was (I hate to admit it!) ready for her to be weaned.  We are opposed to her crying-it-out so that was never an option.  I was just done.  On top of being exhausted, having sore/swollen/ridiculously tender breasts, I have been feeling just a wee bit guilty.  I have felt guilt for thinking nursing is a chore.  For dreading our nursing sessions.  For trying to distract her for just five minutes more so she will stop asking for milk.  For selfishly wanting her to wean so we could sleep for maybe a few straight hours.  For losing my patience with her more than once.  I have felt like a terrible Momma daily.
I know this won't last forever.  I know there are phases and cycles she must go through and that I must endure.  I know I am hard on myself for everything everyday and that I must try to be nicer to myself.  Afterall, I am only human, right?  And while having her latch on or having a let down is super painful right now and I don't look down at her and relish the moment, I have so very many other moments throughout the day to look at her, to kiss her, to hold her, to play with her, to tell her just how much I love her.  And if that's all I can do on just a few hours sleep, well then, I think I'm doing pretty darn well.

A Look Back

Just born - in the NICU

One Month

Two Months

Three Months

Four Months

Five Months

Six Months

Seven Months

Eight Months

Nine Months

Ten Months

Eleven Months

One Year

So Close

I sit rocking her as I have done everyday since the day we brought her home.  The creak of the chair is so familiar I hear it in my dreams.  I sing the same three songs in the same sequence that I have done for months on end.  Back and forth we rock.  I keep time by patting her diaper.  She lays sprawled on me, wrapped in a warm fleece blanket.  Slowly her eyes flutter and then suddenly are closed.  My singing becomes a hum and the rocking smoother.  It's all so familiar, so routine.  So peaceful.
Yet, something about this night is so different from all the rest.  Suddenly, like lightening striking me, I'm hit with a thought.  I have been doing this for a year.

A YEAR.

My little baby is almost a year.

A shiver runs through me like ice.  How did I let a year slip by so quickly?  How did I know, yet not know, that in just a few days time my beautiful baby girl would no longer be a baby?  I pull her close to me, envelope her in my arms, hoping to cease time for just a bit.  It dawns on me that these are the moments that won't last forever.  Soon she won't need my embrace or my songs to lull her to sleep.  Her needs that are dependent on me are coming to an end.  I wonder, have I cherished these moments as I should?  I have shown her all the love I feel right now?  Though she will never remember these precious moments, will she at least know that I will forever and always be there for her?  That I will love her indefinitely?  These thoughts are ones I've had constantly over the past year, but they have a sense of urgency that they've never had before.  As much as watching her develop, learn, discover, and progress is the greatest privilege I have ever known and as much as I think my heart will explode with all the love I feel for her, I cannot help but choke back tears.  Tears of sadness for what's being left behind and tears for all the years waiting to be discovered.
 

Stressed

I like to keep things light, fun, and positive around here.

 So I won't go into details about how I feel ridiculously stressed right now between home (keeping up on it and remodeling a bathroom, which equals money which equals stress) and school (too many things due, not enough time, and classes that aren't being offered next semester, thereby extending how long it will take for me to finish my degree) and the inner turmoil I face trying to keep this family (and our environment) healthy (by researching chemicals, additives, hormones, and other crap this is added to our food, personal and house products, toys, etc.  Suffice it to say I'm overwhelmed!)

 I also won't burden you by saying that I've been feeling so stressed that I cried this morning over pancakes.  Pancakes, people.  I literally felt like a failure because I couldn't get those damn things to cook (either they burned or they took forever) so I had to resort to making Wade an egg and cheese sandwich to take to work instead of making him delicious, maple covered pancakes.  Woe is me, right?!

But I will tell you that I love that little girl more than life itself, that that little baby girl is only 8 DAYS away from being ONE (more stress? yes), and that I wish you all a very non-stressful, beautiful SPRING day to your week!

A Little Self-Help

My husband was the first man to make me feel beautiful.  Make-up or not, dresses or sweat pants, he loved me for me.  As cliche as it might be, it's true.  There are many of us who have gone through many horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad boyfriends before "the one."  And that's how it happens.  But to me, Wade was exceptionally special.  He not only made me feel good about myself in a way I had never before allowed myself to feel, but he made me laugh, he challenged me (in sooo many ways, more good than bad), he didn't put up with crap, and he was always 100% himself which made me do the same.  That's why I knew from very early on that he was the man for me forever and always.  And I also knew that I wanted to have 10,000 of his babies.

It was during my pregnancy that I began to feel myself change,  both literally and figuratively.  Being on bedrest obviously doesn't leave much time for exercise so my body was, and is, less than perfect.  Let me pause to say that I'm was a perfectionist.  I've never had good self-esteem and have always been extraordinarily hard on myself.  That includes my appearance.  Pregnancy offered a new challenge to my self image.  I'm not so vain that I would jeopardize my child's life in order to save myself from some jiggly thighs.  So, I had to let it all go.  And go it went!  And you know what?  I was completely and utterly okay with it.  Before she was born, my baby girl started to change me.  For the better, I might add.  (And that's just one way pregnancy changed me.  Of course the thought of a little, teeny person growing inside of me pushed me to new heights, but you knew that already I'm sure).

Now that she's been a part of my life for nearly a year, I can look back and see just how much I have evolved as a woman.  I feel stronger, more secure, more open and honest, more at ease with myself.  In the first few months of her life I had so many women tell me, "You're such a relaxed mom.  I don't know how you do it!"  The truth is, well, I had to be.  I had a child who screamed for hours on end, for days, until I was a blubbering heap on the floor.  But just looking at her, even screaming or crying or pitching a huge fit, can bring me back to reality.  It's not about me.  It's about her and "listening" to her tell me what she needs.  I've found it's easy to put her before me in everything, but in doing so I've found a side of me that has brought me a sense of peace.  I absolutely love being a momma.  There is nothing in the world that I would give it up for.
So, Harper, my love, thank you for changing me in ways I never thought possible and giving me the greatest role I could have ever hoped for!

11 Months

(Somehow the rest of the Florida pictures I uploaded this morning are missing.  Hopefully I can locate them soon and have Part 2 of our vacation posted!  My apologies!)

Sweet Baby Harper,
   While on vacation in Florida you turned 11 months old.  Actually, we had to "celebrate" this new month on March 1st because February didn't have a 29th day (darn non-leap year!).  But either way, we have moved on to yet another wonderful month in your life.  I believe, though you're not walking unasisted yet, you're pretty much a toddler.  You play games, you play with babies and toys and books, you laugh and giggle, you climb and roll, you bounce and jump, you dance.  You are such a little kid that I find myself just watching you wondering when it all started.  When did I miss the transformation?  You need me (or whoever is watching you at the time) to do less and less for you.  You can feed yourself (using your hands), you can drink from a sippy cup, you can get from place to place yourself.  It's really amazing how independent you are becoming.
   You are starting to know the names for EVERYTHING and are even starting to say what they're called.  This includes (but is not limited to):

*birds

*dogs

*bunnies

*toes

*nose

*clapping

*belly button

*momma milk

*drink

*bites

*up

*down

*done

*diaper

*book

*bear

*bye bye

*hi 

(hi/byebye also come with the appropriate waves)

*baby

*cat

*outside

I'm sure there are many more, but those are the ones off the top of my head.  It's truly amazing how many words you recognize.  Some of them (mostly words that start with B, D, or M) are easy for you to say.  For the rest, you make noises (usually a tuh tuh sound and everyone looks at me and says "What does she want?").  You have also started bringing books to us, sitting on our laps, and waiting for us to read to you.  Talk about a girl after my own heart!

   We're still nursing strong since you're still not really interested in food.  You'll eat bites here and there, but jar food is hit and miss with you.  I'm okay with this.  I wanted to make it to at least a year and it looks like we're going to!

   Since we're still in the midst of winter (spring is so close!) our days are spent in the house playing, reading, singing, cleaning, and occasionally watching one of your movies.  Since you've started to notice every little thing, though, I've been trying to branch out.  So we go to the library either to look at books and play for a bit or for story time (though it seems on story time day you like to sleep in and miss it.  Hmm).  We're still going to music class once a week which is really a lot of fun.  And as much as you love kids, you really don't interact much with them.  You really, really love your teacher.  In fact, you held out your arms and let her hold you last class!  That's not something you do to strangers (thankfully).

    You have started going through your "terrible twos" early, I believe.  You tighten up your hold body and kind of growl when you get frustrated.  Or you try to bite something.  Sometimes you flail your arms.  I have to remind myself that you're still so small and young and have no other way to express how you're feeling.  Hopefully we'll get past this stage unscathed and for the better.  If only you knew that when I say no or take things away (or move you or walk into another room, etc etc) it's for a good reason!

    I don't think I can adequately express how much fun I have with you, let alone how much I love you.  Even when you're being difficult or we're having a bad day, I feel like my heart might erupt with all the love I have for you.  You, my darling, are our everything.  We love you with all of our hearts, forever and always,

Momma and Daddy

Addicting

My new yarn swift hasn't arrived yet, but I got a little antsy yesterday.  One of the things I bought was this yummy, buttery colored yarn

 and as fate would have it, this book was waiting by the front door for me when I got home.  Serious fate, I tell you.  Not only that, but Harper wanted to nap right then.  So what did I do instead of washing a pile of dishes or folding laundry?  I started working on a project.  Of course.  Once I started, I couldn't stop!  When Wade came home I handed Harper off to him and retreated to the bedroom for an hour and a half (thank you love!).  I brought it to my parents and to bed.  I felt like a kid at Christmas.  I woke up at 6:30 this morning and starting working on it.  Then only reason I have stopped so far this morning is to write this post.  I have a million things to do, but all I crave is to sit on this couch with my girl and knit.  At least that's what I'm doing this morning

Don't mind what I'm wearing.  I'm still in my sleeping clothes!

 Happy Friday to you all and have a spectacular weekend!

Slow Day

Today I must study for a test.  This can only be achieved while Harper is napping.  Therefore, we will be doing a lot of playing, reading, cuddling, and possibly going outside (another semi-warm, sunny day is in the forecast!) for the rest of our day.  That is not to say that I'm going to try and wear her out as much as I can, but rather since I have no other obligations today (other than studying), we're going to take it slow.  Today I'm going to enjoy and cherish each and every moment with her.  It's what I try to do everyday, but some days are more hectic than others.  I know you know what I mean :)  It's easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of the everyday.  It's difficult to remember to breathe, take it slow, and relish the tender moments that are so fleeting.  When I look at this sweet face

 my heart feels full.  Yes.  Today will be a slow day with my girl.

Corners from my home

I'm bursting at the seams just waiting for spring to get here.  I've been trying to add color all over our house since this spring fever of mine hit.  Also, adding flowers. Everywhere. It's nice to walk by one of my favorite pieces of furniture in the house and see it livened up by a little bit of "spring" in it.

Wishing all of you a very spring-y weekend!

Future Book Nerd

Harper and I ventured out into the frigid Indiana tundra yesterday.  We lunched with Grammie (Hi Mom!) and then headed to Joann Fabrics so I could, umm well, spend some money.  I have several craft projects in mind, along with several I have already started, which is why Wade told me he was taking Harper for a couple of hours (day and time of my choosing) for me to do whatever I want.  HA! Can you believe it?  I have decided to use my free-time to either A.) work on these projects or B.) go get my FAVORITE iced coffee drink and then peruse the local yarn and book store down the street from the coffee shop.  I can't make up my mind!

So, back to our day.  I dragged poor little Harper all over the fabric store looking for the perfect fabrics, yarns, felts, and a hot glue gun.  (And decided to take 3 classes they offer: knitting, sewing, and quilting).  From there we ventured to the library where Harper got her first library card! 

And checked out her first library books!

I think I was more excited about this than her, no?  She liked the games and yellow rocking kangaroo (that's been there since I was little, mind you.  Time for a renovation?  I think so).

I also signed Harper up for story time once a week and the Mother Goose reading group on Friday.  What can I say?  I was all about signing up for classes yesterday!

And finally we went to Kindermusik (which, I'm sorry to say, I don't have pictures of.  There's never an opportunity because we're constantly moving!).  Harper was thoroughly exhausted by then end of the evening and so was I!  I have to say that we had a very productive day!

About Last Night

Last night, Harper was a wee bit hyper.

She was up and down, back and forth between me and Wade, and crawling all over the house.

Wade and I were tired.  Harper was not.  We went to bed anyway.

Harper rolled around the bed, almost knocked a picture off the wall,and literally bounced off the walls.

So we turned off the lights.  Harper laid down, curled up next to me, and fell asleep holding my hand.

Be still my heart.